Dear future but no so future Chris,
You are currently a junior at Frontier, struggling through the final days of the semester; waiting at a bus stop at 6 am contemplating the thought of life. You made it this far; if you're reading this. Your taste in music is probably gonna still be semi-trash as it always has been and probably will be. I am proud that you have been living life to the fullest and now have ways to cope with your feelings and what is going on. You love memes and Grey's Anatomy too much to the point that you can't go to sleep and I hope that never changes. You currently work at Pizza Hut and love books so much that it will probably become a problem. Make sure you stop complaining about every small thing going on in your life and learn the lessons that people try to teach you. Your 3 siblings are currently 15, 9 and 2 and still are living life like you should be. Junior year is definitely the hardest year of high school, but I promise you'll make it; especially in Goveia's class. You are about to start a new chapter in your life in online school as well a new job along with Pizza Hut to save up for that dreaded college experience that you desire and will love. Your favorite thing in the world is receiving college t-shirts and other college stuff because you just cannot wait for some odd reason no one knows other than the spark that Upward Bound has sparked in you. Coming so close to death when the earth doesn't feel like home is a weird feeling and I hope you never have to go through it again in all the years of your life. All the things you regret and don't want to live for will eventually fade away and become better as the well minded Melanie would say. Always remember even if you can't seem to make it that you have friends and family that will help you through this rough time and although you might go to hell and back, hold on. From bowling club with Gloria to deep talks with Melanie and Cora, who you always end up crying to, and the many friends that care about you, along with that tiny light that follows you everywhere that most likely comforts you it was still thriving through the daylight and that's the highlight of your life. Sincerely, Present but not so present Chris
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Before reading this blog post, I would like to say that I don't mean for this post to be offensive, nor attacking towards others just as a way to see the viewpoint of where I am coming from and what I am going through during or even after school let alone during life.
First, all last week I felt as if my teachers think what is going on with me is a joke; what I am going through is no joke to say, but is just something I have to deal with and still need to live daily with. I was presented with two of my teachers saying I would know what was going on in class if I wouldn't have been sleeping, but since getting out of the mental hospital for ten days I have been sleeping for at least 4 hours or less due to my medication. Which I am taking three daily and cannot stop them even if they are making me lethargic, as long as I am not killing myself or thinking about suicide, but kudos to them for making me feel a lot better about myself and the things I'm going through right now. Currently it is 11:16 P.M. and I am just laying here ranting about how this previous week has just been filled with this, but besides that there has been a teacher that actually knows what is happening and that is my Health Science teacher and she has actually presented situations where I can "wake up" or even get away from being tired to actually enjoy her class instead of dreading going to my A Day classes because of the teachers. Also, thanks to my health science teacher for dragging me during PBL presentations the other day. Second, I am glad that my friends are most understanding and help me get through these hard times by actually helping me out and getting me through the day without dropping out including Cora, Gloria and Melanie, who will talk to me about anything and everything and will even answer my calls when I am freaking out about the piling amount of assignments that I am getting assigned. As well as the content mastery teacher who for some reason helps more with my studies than any other teacher because there is some sudden not wanting to help Chris Kyle for some odd reason, but I just live with it and go there to vent and get help with things I am really struggling with. Honestly, if you do something "bad" dont dread going to AC because it's definitely better than the regular classes they're putting us in. Lastly, I appreciate everything that anyone has done for me and glad to have those types of people in my life, no matter what I have been through or what's going on and could care less about Thoreau or the quadratic formulas, awake or not. |
Chris kyleA "different" 11th grader who enjoys reading, writing and being with friends. A writer of reviews for http://readerviewskids.com/ ArchivesCategories |